7 Things The Bible Says About Marriage
How do you make that feeling last?
The Bible says that when you find a spouse, you’ve found a good thing. How do you make that feeling last? And can you continue growing closer? What does it take for a godly marriage to fulfill its promise?
Nineteen years ago when I first met my wife, I wasn’t exactly thinking, “Wow! This girl really fears the Lord.” No, I was entranced by her dark red hair and her infectious smile. She was way out of my league. She still is.
When I showed up at the door for that first blind date, I was a scrawny little nerd standing speechless in front of the most beautiful girl I had ever met. And for whatever reason, she fell in love with me. Years later, I’m still speechless sometimes — not always because of that fiery red hair, but more often because of the fire inside of her.
Her beauty hasn’t faded, but I find myself more and more attracted to her intangible qualities — things like her love for God, her selflessness, and her generosity. I think that’s what Solomon meant when he said, “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting.” I doubt I’ll ever look at my Shelley and not think she’s physically attractive. But, the years have helped me appreciate the depth of true beauty nestled behind her physical form.
I can look at each of our three daughters and see their mother’s beauty. More importantly, I can see the same sweet, godly character being forged inside of them that keeps me falling for their mother day after day. That’s what makes me most proud as a husband and a father. My wife has been both an amazing gift and an invaluable life partner, and I know that God is preparing my daughters for a future where their worth will be measured more by their refinement than by their reflection.
No matter where you are on your journey, it’s never too late to change what you value. God looks beyond our superficial appearance and peers deeply into our hearts. You can’t hide behind a façade or charm your way into His favor.
So, yeah. My wife’s still out of my league. She’s a lot better to look at than I am, sure. But she’s so much more. She teaches me and our family what real beauty is. She teaches me the importance of caring about the condition of my heart. That’s a praiseworthy trait that I’m working to catch up to her on.
What are you doing to cultivate something truly beautiful inside your own heart?
Michael Martin
YouVersion Web Developer
Marriage is an exciting and beautiful gift from God. However, like all other areas of life, you’ll encounter situations in marriage that will make you afraid. After all, we promise in our wedding vows to love for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. Whether it’s tragedy, illness, or unmet expectations, it doesn’t take long for fear to creep into your marriage.
Paul writes in his letter to the Romans, “We are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” If you trust in God’s Word, you can be assured that the power of His love will help you overcome your fears — even those relating to your marriage.
When troubles come, you can be confident in Christ’s steadfast love and devotion. Are you facing pain or distress in your marriage? Take comfort in the Lord’s promises to never leave or forsake us. Are you uneasy in the middle of tests and trials? Know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28)
Isn’t it amazing to know that His faithfulness and mercy are not a result of our love toward Him, but His love for us? (Romans 8:37) Nothing in all creation is able to separate you from the love of God. (Romans 8:35)
Don’t let your heart be troubled. (John 14:1) When doubts and fears come into your marriage, love your spouse like Jesus loves you. Be fully devoted to God, together, and know that when God’s love is perfected in you, all your fears will be cast away, no matter what trial you’re facing.
Alex Ronquillo
YouVersion Engineer
This verse comes in the middle of a lot of helpful advice for living, directly from Jesus. When I think about this verse in the context of marriage, I immediately think about the act of “keeping score.”
Think about it: the goal of marriage is to remain lifelong partners. When you’re with someone almost every day, for years upon years, it’s not hard to let small things add up. That’s a lot of “points” to track!
While almost everyone knows that forgiveness plays an important role in marriage, it’s easy to miss the strong advice that Jesus gives: to live with a daily habit of forgiveness. At the very least, that means no more keeping score!
The last part of Luke 6:37, “Forgive, and you will be forgiven,” reminds me of James 5:16, which says “…confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” In a healthy marriage, confessing faults to one another opens the door for receiving forgiveness. As much as we should easily forgive others — and especially our spouses — we should be able to receive forgiveness from others, as well.
It’s foundationally important to live in that forgiveness with each other. Not only forgiving each other for the big things, but a regular, shared connection where both partners can trust each other with their faults — perhaps even finding ways to celebrate your differences.
If we’re going to lay our lives down for each other in marriage (see John 15:13 and Ephesians 5:25), the very foundation of that is putting our spouse before ourselves. This means putting aside judgments, leaving condemnation behind, and offering forgiveness. It also means receiving forgiveness in turn, as trust and love grow from both sides of the relationship.
Set aside some time with your spouse this week to practice forgiveness together. Be open about areas where you know you have faults, and find out if there may be outstanding “points” for which you need forgiveness.
Tommy George
YouVersion Engineer
My wife has seen the worst parts of me. She’s known me for almost 12 years, and we’ve been married for more than nine of those. Even though she knows more about me than anyone on earth, she knows nothing about me compared to what God knows.
God knows all my faults and failures, and he sees me sin daily. And yet, He loves me. He cares so much for me that He sacrificed His Son for me. Christ served His disciples every day — even when He knew that some would one day deny Him! And He provides me grace daily, even though I don’t deserve it.
Let’s start loving our spouses better with these three practical examples of Christ’s love for us:
1. Put yourself second.
If He gave His life for us, why can’t we make small, daily sacrifices to elevate our spouse’s feelings, desires, and hopes above our own? Try letting your spouse go out and have some “me time” this week, while you stay home and watch the kids. Or, for a real challenge, let your spouse be “right” the next time you find yourself in the middle of a trivial disagreement.
2. Serve with no expectations.
What better picture of a servant can we get than the King of kings washing His disciples’ feet? (John 13:3–17) As a spouse, that picture of Christ as a servant should be a constant reminder for us. Find ways to serve your spouse today. Surprise her by doing the laundry. Pick up a special dessert from his favorite restaurant, just because. Find joy in serving your spouse — and then serve them without expecting anything in return.
3. Show grace.
Grace is the free and unmerited favor of God. He has every right not to forgive our sins and shortcomings, and yet He gives grace freely. Rather than focusing on the negative habits and characteristics of your spouse, try daily to look for the positives. Do something as simple as mentioning one thing you love about her every day. Pray for him every day. Forgive your spouse when they mess up. Grace does not hold onto hurt, anger, or disappointment…grace forgives.
Todd Dobberstein
YouVersion Product Manager
Greatest Treasure
I don’t think about treasure much as an adult, but I sure did when I was a kid. Treasure was worth fighting pirates to find. Treasure was worth fending off ogres to protect. Treasure was the pinnacle of an imaginative adventure. Meditating on Scripture is always good for your soul, and thinking regularly about today’s verse (Proverbs 18:22) can have a profound effect on your marriage.
If my wife is truly my greatest treasure, then she becomes more entertaining than what I want to watch on TV. Spending time with her becomes more valuable than “me time.” Her needs become more important than my own. Of course, this verse isn’t saying that your wife is an idol to be set above the Lord. However, what it is saying is that — of all the blessings that your heavenly Father gives you in this world — you should consider your wife to be the greatest.
Gift From the Lord
Before I met my wife’s earthly father, I heard that he was an officer in the Air Force. As most young guys would be, I was intimidated by her dad when we first met but, as I got to know him, we cultivated a healthy respect. This respect made sure that I was on my best behavior and had her home on time after our dates.
I think it should be the same when we take time to think about our wife’s heavenly Father. He cares for her more than her earthly father or I ever could. God entrusts me with the gift of caring for my wife as only a husband can.
It’s a sobering thought that the all-knowing, all-powerful Father sees how we treat His gift. It makes me cringe to think back on the snarky comments I know I’ve made, the selfish moments I’ve had.
This is my prayer, and I hope many men reading this will pray it, too:
Heavenly Father, please forgive me for not treasuring my wife as I should. Thank You for giving me such an amazing blessing. Please renew my heart and mind, and help me to see her as my greatest treasure each and every day. Amen.
Brad Belyeu
YouVersion Engineer
During our wedding, my bride and I listened to the pastor read 1 Corinthians 13:7: “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.” After that, we vowed that our marriage would last, but we underestimated how much the pressures of life, our schedules, our selfish habits, and even our adorable kids would pull us away from each other. Even now, we sometimes find ourselves living close by each other, but not feeling close to each other.
Bearing and Enduring
Marriage would be easy if it weren’t for these “all things” that we’re expected to bear and endure. Proverbs 19:11 says, “A person’s insight gives him patience, and his virtue is to overlook an offense.”
Why choose forgiveness? We forgive because we’ve been forgiven by God. We love in the way that He loves: His love is a covenant, not a contract. A contract, in a business sense, means that I only have to keep up my end of the deal if the other party keeps their end. But successful marriages are based on a covenant: a lifelong, unconditional commitment to do our part, even if we must endure a spouse who fails to keep theirs.
Your marriage will reap what you sow. (Galatians 6:7) If you don’t like what’s growing in your marriage, maybe you should take a look closer at the kinds of seeds you’ve been planting.
Believing and Hoping
Have you ever noticed that we tend to judge others by their actions, but that we judge ourselves by our intentions? Even when we disagree, I know that my wife’s intentions are pure. This core belief has prevented many disagreements from becoming destructive.
No matter how bleak your relationship seems to be, believe unswervingly in your spouse’s motives and trust that God is walking with you through this winter season. The winter makes spring so much more beautiful.
Don’t Give Up
Marriage has stretched us more than we ever thought it would. But it has also satisfied us more than we ever imagined. Don’t give up. Keep giving. Keep serving. When there’s no response, serve some more. Love is an action, not a feeling. Love is unconditional. It is relentless, it is persistent, and it is aggressive. Fight for the one you love, and keep praying together.
Andy Knight
YouVersion UI Designer
Whatever your marriage looks like right now, here’s something you need to know: nothing is impossible for God.
Throughout the Bible, we see numerous miracles of God — including when Jesus conquered death by rising from the dead! The same Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you (Romans 8:11). Your marriage may feel dead right now, but God can bring it back to life.
Don’t stop praying for your spouse. Don’t give up on your marriage. If you’re having trouble finding common ground, don’t put it off: find someone today that both of you can talk to.
Your biggest breakthrough may be still yet to come. With God, nothing is impossible!
Jordan Wiseman
YouVersion Content Manager
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