A Practical Guide To Prayer
When the word prayer comes to our minds, we probably have a picture of what that looks like. Regardless of your background, you probably have some prior experience with the concept of prayer. We’ll dive deeper into what prayer looks like and how we can incorporate practices that will help us begin an ongoing conversation with God that will last our entire lives.
What is prayer?
According to Dictionary.com, prayer is:
A devout petition to God or an object of worship.
A spiritual communion with God or an object of worship.
The act or practice of praying to God or an object of worship.
When the word prayer comes to our minds, we probably have a picture of what that looks like. Maybe it’s a pastor of a church dressed in a white robe, standing up high behind a pulpit with his arms stretched out over his congregation. It could be a grandmother kneeling next to her bed, hands crossed, silenting talking to God. Perhaps it’s a group of women holding hands in a circle in the fellowship hall of a church. Regardless of your background, you probably have some prior experience with the concept of prayer.
If we are honest, though, most of us almost cringe when we hear someone say anything about prayer. We might even feel like the writers of the Psalms who beg God to hear their cries and prayers, but wonder if He really will. The reasoning behind that negative thought process is probably because we don’t think we are doing it enough. So, when someone asks, “have you prayed about that?” or “how’s your prayer life?” we typically feel bombarded with discouragement.
Billy Graham said, “prayer is simply a two-way conversation between you and God.” Pretty simple, isn’t it? And yet we seem to make it such a complex act. So, let’s consider prayer as communication with God. Plain and simple. God, our Creator, meets us right where we are. We don’t have to fix ourselves or put on a happy face before we come to Him. We can come to Him when we need His peace, His guidance, and His hope when we feel no peace, are completely lost, and have little to no hope. No part of our messy life scares Him. Isn’t that a relief?
Prayer is simply:
- getting to know God.
- communicating our desires to God.
- listening to God speak truths to our spirit.
- voicing our need for God to help us.
- observing God in creation and praising Him.
- sitting with God in our pain, and asking Him to comfort us.
- expressing our gratitude by thanking God.
- an ongoing conversation with God.
Our prayer lives should be less about a short segment in the morning to “start our day off right” and more about an ongoing, vibrant, open-ended conversation that we have throughout our day with our God — our Heavenly Father.
Pray like Jesus.
Prayer is the most important conversation of your day. Take it to God before you take it to anyone else. — Anonymous
Is it really that important that we spend time daily in prayer with God? Well, in day one we learned that prayer is simply a two-way conversation that we have with God in order to grow. It is spending time talking, listening, asking, and thanking Him, among other things. Praying, or having an ongoing conversation with God, is vital to our growth as Christ followers.
Did you know that Jesus spent a lot of time praying to God? The Bible says He often got away by Himself to pray. In the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, we read that He prayed over two dozen times, at least! He prayed…
- …when He was alone and when He was with others.
- …before He healed someone and after He healed someone.
- …before meals and before important decisions.
- …in the morning and in the evening.
- …after He was nailed to the cross and as He was dying on the cross.
What Jesus’s prayers tell us is that He depended on His Father for everything, and He was the Savior of the world! If He needed time with God in prayer, we most certainly do. Why? Because we exist in a world that is constantly throwing new things at us and begging us to divert our attention from walking with God. Prayer allows us to relate to God and be guided by Him. In these times of prayer, Jesus was getting close to His Heavenly Father. His times of prayer showed how desperate He was for His Heavenly Father.
What can we learn from Jesus about praying? Pray in every situation and pray about every situation.
Basically, go to God about everything.
Relationship disagreements? Talk to God.
Financial catastrophes? Talk to God.
Mental issues? Talk to God.
Physical dilemmas? Talk to God.
Career challenges? Talk to God.
Emotional crises? Talk to God.
Whatever the situation or problem, talk to Him. That’s what Jesus did. Now, this doesn’t negate subsequent steps you will take for the part you will play in this open-ended, prayer relationship you have with God. This just means that we go to Him first.
We shouldn’t be intimidated by prayer. We don’t need to wonder if we are doing it “the right way” or if we are saying “the right thing.” God simply wants us to be in an intimate relationship with Him, and He knows that maintaining an ongoing conversation with Him throughout our days is the best plan.
Rethink prayer.
Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God. — Mother Theresa
Many Christ followers struggle to have a decent prayer life. It can be hard for us because it’s easy to focus on the act of praying itself instead of focusing on God. Having an awesome prayer life is not the goal. Connecting with God and growing in our intimacy with Him is.
Maybe this scenario is familiar: We start praying when life is hard. Then life gets easier, and we don’t pray as much because we don’t need God as much. But, something difficult comes across our path and we know we need to pray about it. We feel guilty about it because we haven’t prayed in a while and we assume that God is mad at us.
It’s time to rethink prayer.
Let’s think of prayer in light of our closest relationships. It could be a sibling, our spouse, or a best friend. Our communication with them is easy and natural. We might send a text message, make a phone call, or visit with them in person. Sometimes we have long visits and other times, the messages are brief. We usually don’t begin our conversation with this person like this: “Dear Jenny, thank you for answering my call today. I am excited to talk to you. Let’s discuss…” Instead, we have this ongoing conversation that tends to just carry on to the next one.
If we will treat prayer like we treat that relationship with those closest to us, prayer will intertwine throughout all areas of our lives. It will connect the parts that we have disconnected from God. It will be an ongoing conversation we have with Him — filled with moments of gratitude, praying for others, and even sharing our frustrations. And if this conversation is ongoing, then truly, is there even a need to ever say “amen”?
This doesn’t mean that we don’t show Him the honor He is worthy of. We don’t address Him with, “Hey dude…sup.” No, we live our lives where He is honored and worshiped and in doing so, our encounters with Him are far more genuine. He cares less about our words to Him and more about the place where the words came from.
Our relationship with God will grow as we strive to have an ongoing conversation with Him. Both short and long prayers have their place. But we can’t just expect to get to know him in a five-minute segment each morning. We have to bring Him into our daily lives and allow Him to breathe His peace, hope, comfort, and guidance into every aspect of it.
It’s time to rethink prayer.
Come messy.
When we fumble due to sin — and it’s gonna happen — confession puts us back on the field. — Lou Holtz
We desperately want to come to God when we feel like we have it all together. But, God wants us to come to Him in the middle of our turbulence. We do not have to clean up our act to impress Him.
We do, however, need to talk about the condition of our hearts with Him. Part of prayer is confessing the wrong things we’ve said, done and yes, even thought. C.S. Lewis says that confession is like the threshold of prayer. Meaning, we do it first.
Confession is hard for us because we don’t want to admit our flaws. News flash: He already knows. He knows the things we try to hide from Him. That thing we did years ago that we swear we’ll take to our grave? He knows. And guess what? He loves us anyway.
Even though He knows, we still need to confess our sins. It’s actually something that most of us either don’t want to do or don’t feel is necessary. And we certainly don’t want to call ourselves sinful. That would mean we are full of sin. Another news flash: we are sinful. But the Bible is crystal clear that “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” How much will we be cleansed of? Everything.
When we confess our sins, we then make the choice to repent. That means that we do an “about face” and literally turn the opposite way from the sin we just confessed. Confessing our sin and walking in repentance might include this simple prayer. “God, please forgive me for gossiping about Beth today. I will choose to speak words that don’t tear other people down from now on.”
But there are times where we come to Him and we have much more to confess. There may be years of moral discrepancies that weigh us down. Some things we don’t remember specifically. If that’s the case, our prayer could be, “God, I know I have sinned so much, and I don’t remember it all. Would you please forgive me where I have messed up?” And guess what? The Bible tells us that He will remember our sins no more and that they are removed from us as far as the east is from the west.
We may think that we are hopeless and our circumstance is helpless. Guess what? Hopeless and helpless are God’s specialty. We just need to bring our messy lives to Him.
Remain grateful.
Learning to pray doesn’t offer us a less busy life; it offers us a less busy heart. — Paul E. Miller
We’ve heard it said that happy people are not always grateful but grateful people are almost always happy. Let’s think about that. Of all the grateful people we know, how many of them are miserable? Zero.
How do we remain grateful during the busy lives we lead? By being intentional. The most rewarding things in our lives take a great amount of intention. And remaining in a grateful state of mind each day requires intentionality.
One of the best ways for our heart to stay in a gratitude posture is to count our blessings. That’s right. Literally start naming them. To simply stop and count our blessings will lead to an attitude overhaul. Start a list on your device, write them down on sticky notes or set an alarm on your phone that will prompt you to name five things you are thankful for.
Here are a few suggestions that will help us be intentional about cultivating a grateful heart:
Stop and smell the roses.
Our God is an amazing Creator. Everything we see in nature is His handiwork. How many times have we been speechless because of a sunrise? When those moments come, just say, “Thank you, God!”
Turn that frown upside down.
When things don’t go according to the plan we had in mind, instead of focusing on what we didn’t get, let’s focus on what we do have. It’s okay to feel the sting of disappointment, but let’s don’t live there. Let’s voice our gratitude to God for what we do have.
Don’t stop believin’.
Perhaps the greatest way to walk in gratitude as Christ followers is to remember what was done on our behalf. Jesus left his place next to His Father in Heaven to come to our rescue. Because of His perfect, selfless act we don’t have to fear eternity. If we really allow that to sink in, our hearts will be grateful.
So let’s be thankful in all things and in all ways. For the loaf of bread in our pantry, the full tank of gas in our car, and the loved ones whom we get to enjoy. But may we never forget the One who laid down every bit of His power and authority to come to a broken earth so that we could live forever with Him. If we wake up each day with that vision in our minds, the first words that depart our lips will be simply be “Thank you.” And honestly, if all we ever do is thank God, that’s a pretty good thing.
Get dirty.
Prayer is never a last line of defense. It’s our first line of offense. — Craig Groeschel
The Bible tells us to pray for others. One thing our prayers do is encourage people. When we get a text message, a note, or a phone call from someone saying they prayed for us, that encourages us.
In praying for others, we are on the front lines of their lives. We get to pray on their behalf. As we grow in our closeness with God, praying for others will become easier, more natural, and even exciting. So, as we go about our day, let’s get our knees dirty and pray. Here are three groups to pray for:
Our inner circle.
The smallest circle is the people in our lives we are closest to, including ourselves. This group needs us in their lives. It consists of family members and our closest friends. Praying for this group will be easier because we know them better. A majority of our prayers will go towards people in this group because they are at the forefront of our minds.
Our middle circle.
This middle circle will be larger than our inner circle. This group consists of good friends, acquaintances and extended family members. We won’t always know what to pray for the people in this group but nonetheless, we pray for them anyway. A simple, “God, please give your wisdom to John” or “God, I pray she comes to know You” will suffice.
Our outer circle.
This group will be the largest group in our life. It consists of people we don’t know or have a one-time interaction with. It could be the leader of our country, a celebrity, or a server at a restaurant. The prayers for these people might be far more general simply because we are not aware of what needs they have. Sometimes these prayers will not be specific so more general prayers are appropriate.
Here are some ideas to get us started:
- Make a daily list and pray through it.
- Sit quietly and allow God to bring people to mind.
- Put a reminder on your phone to prompt you to pray.
- Turn the music off while driving and pray instead.
- Pray in the moment when the need arises.
To impact others, we must halt our own agendas. Our prayers don’t have to be long, and we don’t have to worry about the outcome. We did our part. We can stand on the truth that every prayer we ever pray will be heard by a loving, good God. Our prayers can be both spontaneous and planned. When God says we can come to Him for anything and everything, He really does mean it.
Does prayer even work?
Prayer — though it is often draining, even an agony — is in the long term the greatest source of power that is possible. — Timothy Keller
People often say, “God didn’t answer my prayer.” Actually, God does indeed answer every prayer we pray. Sometimes He says, “Yes,” sometimes He says, “No” and other times He says, “Wait.” But, when we don’t get our prayers answered according to our desires, we assume that “He didn’t answer our prayer.”
This thought pattern tends to be very selfish and yet, if we are all honest, we have probably entertained this thought at some point in our lives. We asked God to do this good thing for us. When it didn’t happen, we found ourselves left with a bruised heart because we trusted God. And that’s just plain difficult to accept.
But we can’t allow our discouragement with our unfulfilled plans cause us to doubt the God who created the world. When we come to a place where we truly believe God has our best interests at heart, there is a peace that follows. Oftentimes, His “no” answers are to protect us.
When we don’t get the answer we desire from God, instead of the first response being “Why did you let this happen?” let’s begin asking, “How are you going to use this?” Let’s change our “why” to “how.” Adjusting our view of God that shows Him as mean and withholding, to a God who wants the best for us will indeed change us from the inside out.
So, does prayer even work?
Well, if our definition of prayer is that we say a prayer and ask for God to grant us something that we are asking for and He doesn’t, then no, prayer doesn’t work. But, if we see prayer as having an ongoing, two-way conversation with God where we grow in our intimacy with Him, then yes, prayer does work. It all depends on our definition.
Someone once said, “When life is rough, pray. When life is great, pray.” And let’s remember that the objective of praying is not about sounding extra spiritual in a prayer meeting or acquiring every material possession we want. The objective is an intimate relationship with God.
So, let’s just keep praying — on the pretty days, on the ugly days, on the glorious days, and on the melancholy days. Because He’s always there; nearer to us than our breath.
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